Mortality

I feel pretty petty. My socially conscious kids are focusing their attention on issues of national importance. (I am not sure how Andy's food fits into that category.) My life recently has been much more introspective.

On August 10 I had my annual doctor's visit. He found a lump in my breast. I had a mammogram the same day.

This was during Andy's visit and I managed very successfully to put it in the back of my mind. I have always known you should not worry about things about which you can do nothing, but I have never been very good at following through on that. For once I did. Then, the following Friday (the 13th) I got my mammogram report in the mail and it indicated everything was fine. I foolishly thought I was out of the woods.

We had my dad's birthday party and enjoyed Andy's company. Then on Monday the 16th the doctor's office called wanting me back in for a follow-up checkup. I think I did that on the 18th and the unwelcome lump was still there. So I got set up to visit a breast doctor on the 1st of September. I don't know about anyone else, but waiting is not something I do well. However, I continued to be able to put the whole thing back in the dark recesses of my mind. Then the 1st came and I went to see Dr. Cusick.

Once I walked into her office, I had to face the reality that not everyone who goes in comes out with a clean report. I had to acknowledge that it was maybe time to worry. I tried to not let it show, but I was worried.

The positive in this was that as I was walking into the building by the Via Christi St. Francis campus this purple Dodge Ram drove by me and honked. It was Harry, come to support me. We had talked briefly about whether or not he should come. I knew I really wanted him there but also knew he was pretty pressured at work and had a doctor's appointment himself later that afternoon. I was so thrilled to see him.

For 3 1/2 years I have worked for an organization which encourages people to admit their mortality and plan in advance for the unthinkable. It is so much easier to discuss on an academic level than to deal with in immediate reality.

Well, I am making a short story long here. My lump turned out to be a cyst which was drained that morning and was harmless. (I am not going to go into details about how we know that but feel confident that is the case.)I walked out a free woman with only a slight sore spot to show for my trouble. Funny thing is, I find it much harder to get it out of my mind now than I did before. Guess I was really surpressing it and can now let it run wild.

Other thing I learned - I am one terribly healthy individual. As they took my health history it was brought home to me that I never have had anything much more serious than hay fever, unless you count the 2 lb 6 oz baby. She is pretty serious!

If you are reading this, have a drink to my health. I am certainly enjoying it!